Posts Tagged ‘Stress’

Remodeling… Redecorating.. Medicating?

Monday, April 13th, 2015

The last few weeks have been pretty hectic.  We’ve started some big projects in the house that have, in turn, verified a few suspicions.

Our kitchen was pretty closed off from the rest of the world.  Even though there’s an addition on the house, nothing was really done to help with the flow (and lighting) for the original house.  So, after determining that the wall that was bugging me the most was load bearing, we took the steps to turn a section of it into a window by removing the drywall, adding a header to transfer the load, and then framing things out.  There’s some painting to do, but the window was finally trimmed out this past week by our friend Colin whom came down for Easter.  We used a wide windowsill for the bottom to give a bar top kind of a look and feel to it, and now even though there’s no flow in terms of walking, it helps to increase a little counter space in the kitchen and offers the ability for more light to come through.  There’s an unfortunate lack of overhead lighting in the living room, so the extra bump of light from the large window in the kitchen makes the difference.  With doing this construction, however, we had to move a few things around in the living room and this is where we found that our problems were a little bigger than the lack of lighting…

As I’ve previously said, Bella’s been having a difficult time for the past few months.  Her eyes have been gunky, she’s been drinking a lot of extra water, and her anxiety is pretty much through the roof.  After finally getting her to the vets office and having some tests run on her, the preliminary results brought back a diagnosis of Stage 1 Diabetes, and her vision loss is in the 75% range.  The vision was something that seems to have been brewing for a little while recently, but moving the furniture in the living room to do the construction on the wall proved that she was a lot further along on the blindness scale than originally anticipated.  The diabetes came as a complete shock to me, her glucose numbers were well into the high 700’s when they’re only supposed to be in the low to mid 100’s.  This unfortunately means 2 insulin injections daily. I would love to say that’s only until her numbers come down and then we can adjust things, but I think it may wind up being for the rest of her life and I can’t even begin to describe the anxiety she’s experiencing because of it.  The back of her neck is so sore from the injections and she’s lashing out like all holy hell if you get anywhere near her.  It’s a work in progress, but we’re trying our hardest to make her as comfortable as possible.

The gunk build up on her eye wasn’t completely due to an infection as we originally thought.  She does have a minor infection in the eye that houses the cataract, unfortunately this eye is the one where she’s lost complete vision.  She’s receiving antibiotic eyedrops twice daily for this. But the gunk build up, overall, is due to chronic dry eye. She’s receiving two more drops daily to keep her eyes lubricated.  The issue though.. I believe they cause either a slight dialysis or just blurred vision because her vision seems to have been getting worse since we implemented the drops into the daily routine.  She’s walking into walls more often than usual and I’ve noticed she has no interest in being outside while the sun is up because she can’t seem to get comfortable when there’s a brighter light shining into her eyes.  I’ve also noticed that they clearly sting a little because as soon as either of the drops go into her eyes she’s wanting to rub them out as quickly as possible.  I’ve made it a point to kind of rub around her eye to make sure the medication gets to the back of her eye were it’s needed in hopes that she doesn’t wind up completely rubbing it into the carpet as soon as she has the chance to rub her face after we’re done.

Everything combined, however, is a major stress factor for her life.  She’s getting the injections every 12 hours, and also the eye drops every 12 hours.  The injections is more of a stress factor than the drops, the drops just seem to be happening more often because she needs multiple drops within an hour of each other so ensure that one doesn’t cancel out the other. I’m also still using the saline eye wash to help keep the gunk from around her eye from getting hard so her eyes are as clear as they can possibly be.  She’s fine with the eye wash, but I’m sure that’s due to the fact that she’s not getting anything IN her eye, I’m only wiping the crust from around it.  As clear as her eyes appear, I know the vision just isn’t there anymore and unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about that.

Her drinking has subsided, but her bladder control is pretty much out the window. I’m doing everything I can to ensure she’s going out as regularly as possible to relieve herself, but there’s still been accidents in the house and even with everything else going on with her – that’s where MY anxiety levels have skyrocketed. I’ve been shampooing carpets regularly but she was clearly going in the house more often than I originally noticed so there’s heavily perfumed areas of urine in my carpet that I can’t get out with a regular home-based cleaner, to the point that I may need to have Stanley Steemer come in for the deep clean in hopes the steam and cleaning solutions penetrate down to the padding where the smells are being held.  On warmer/humid days the smell is overwhelming and as someone who takes pride in keeping a clean house, having pet odors to this degree is embarrassing as all hell for me.  Having a house guest for a week and needing to have candles going at all times just to mask the smells that I couldn’t get up with the cleaner wasn’t a pleasant experience. I know that he didn’t care, and he only said “ooh, I smell pee” once in the 7 days he was here but the fact that it was even the topic of conversation wasn’t something I was thrilled about.

I knew when we purchased this home that I’d eventually be removing all of the current ‘flooring’.  The floor in the living room/dining room is a weird tan tone that’s been on the floor for probably 30 years.  The carpeting in the hallway and three bedrooms is also 30 years old and a very traditional rose color for the late 70’s that is just ugly regardless of stains.  The den and my closet have a newer berber carpet, but even low piles hold smells and there were stains that I couldn’t removed with the cleaner last year that have only gotten worse over time. So, by default, I’ve been looking into wood flooring.  While it’s more expensive than just replacing carpet, it also gives me a solid floor to easily wipe up instead of having to worry about something soaking into padding.  I also feel it would help to increase the value of the house since it’s more ascetically pleasing in it’s own right. At this point I’d be content with having solid vinyl floors throughout the whole house just so there’s a barrier there for no liquid to penetration.  So, the best of both worlds, I’m looking into laminate hard woods through Lumber Liquidators. I’ve found a few that have the tone I want, and would look amazing with the color I plan on painting all the walls with (Sherwin Williams – Canvas Tan).  The issue is really just buying it and putting it down, cost for everything was about $1200. This covers the cost of wood the entire first floor (minus kitchen and bathrooms), the padding and tools.  Considering having a company come in to do this job would run me over $8000… it’s a pretty good deal.

This isn’t something that will happen in the near future though, finances don’t allow for that kind of modification being as we still have a roof in need of repair, a kitchen that requires the completion of a remodel and a basement to reconfigure to accommodate the possibility of having a few people move in within the next year or so.  That mixed with the fact that I now desperately need to completely fence in the back yard because of Bella’s lack of desire to take a proper walk at night… money’s tight.   We’re absolutely fine on paying bills, there’s no lack of food, we’re not going ‘without’ for anything. We’re comfortable month to month and putting money aside for what we need, but there’s no overflow where we can just pull out money and get things done at once. This house will continue to be a ‘work in progress’ for the next 30 years, but we do have our priorities.

It would be amazing if like $75,000 fell into my hands somehow.  I know our Mortgage still has over 200k on it, and we could easily pay down the principle with 75,000 to help in the long term, but when you factor in everything that needs to be done in and around the house – that bit of money could go a really long way. It would cover all debts (minus mortgage), the roof, a fence, tree removal, landscaping, new flooring, kitchen remodel, and the basement.  It could also cover getting a shed into the yard so I can gain use of my garage for more than a dumping ground and actually have the ability to park in there. It could go so, so far it just needs to appear. Will it? Probably not, but that’s because I don’t live in a dream world where it grows on trees and gets handed to you.

In any event, it’s time for someone’s eyes to get some drops and there’s plenty of work to get done around the house while my inbox is still empty.  Those dishes won’t do themselves… and trust me – I’ve been hoping for that too.

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Catching up…

Thursday, September 25th, 2014

It’s getting harder and harder for me to focus lately, and I have no idea why.  I’ve been semi-OK about keeping things on the up and up around the house, I’m meeting the deadlines that are set for work, but for some reason actually getting the drive to start/finish necessary projects is just not an option.  I feel like the closer I get to 30, the more I lose my drive. And at this point that’s happening within the next 30 days so I feel like it’s all down hill from here.  For the past two months I’ve been looking at the supplies to get the hall bath remodeled but haven’t touched them even though I remind myself about it daily.

I don’t necessarily think it’s a mental thing, to a degree I feel it’s physical. Every time I actually do have the urge to do something, I’m being held back by something else.  The biggest thing lately is my teeth. I still haven’t gotten that tooth removed and it flares up at the most random times, and even today I’m dealing with a little tinge of pain on a completely different tooth.  Things have just been so tight with money this month thanks to the $800 we threw into the car to keep it on the road that our priorities are just screwed up.

I really think, above all else, I’m just overwhelmed in general.  I know I continue to harp on it, but I really feel like we got screwed on this house. We’ve sunken so much into just the general maintenance that was long over due that we don’t have the strength or finances to get to the “Make this house Our Home” part of homeownership. We’re making due, but it’s just frustrating to be rebuilding doors that were rotted out and hidden by paint, or pulling up carpeting that was moldy because of the furnace leaking but the previous owners “covered” it with bleach and didn’t properly treat anything.  It seems that whenever we’re making a decent stride towards something, we have to go three steps back.

To make matters worse, my hairs falling out.  And it’s not the over-dramatic “I’m ripping it out of my head” bullshit. It’s legitimately falling out of my head. The chlorine levels in the public water are so high that it’s turning the basement toilet red, and my scalp no longer can hold the hair follicle.  However, I’ve also been doing some research into things lately and need to not only see a dentist, but a doctor.  When looking into the symptoms I’ve been experiencing lately, I’m a fairly good fit for Hypothyroidism. Obviously I would need to be tested to determine if I was Hypo or Hyper, but comparing side by side, I’m more on the Hypo side of the spectrum. Hair loss, chronic fatigue, irregular period, hair loss, anxiety, .. it all fits.

I’m not a hypochondriac, I’m not someone who gets heartburn and thinks I’m having a heart attack. I know my usual aches and pains, the bulk of which come from just not taking care of myself.  In the last year, however, things have just changed for me and not necessarily for the better.

The biggest issue: I live in Delaware. This is quite possibly the worst state to live in when you need medical attention.  I’d have to travel into Maryland to speak to someone who actually has a brain. Am I discrediting ALL doctors in DE? No, of course not. BUT for the ones I need to see, having been in their offices in the past with someone else, I’d rather jump off a bridge than have them treat me. Their investigative process is laughable, and the diagnosis based on investigation is asinine.  When you’re sitting in an office with a doctor that says “It’s just a headache, it’ll go away” and then winding up in the surgical ward because a retina was detaching… you learn to just not trust anymore. Or when you’re experiencing heart palpitations and they want to put you on different meds when in reality there’s a small tumor behind your heart that is Stage 3 lung cancer.  The misdiagnosis and absence of a damn brain are the top 2 reasons to avoid the medical staff here.

On the Thyroid front – I’m wanting to do more research into things myself, this way I know exactly what I’m getting myself into and what can be done to treat it without having to be hopped up on drugs, that’s the one major downside to an actual diagnosis.  I don’t even like taking aspirin, why would I want to take some random drug that was created in a lab that probably has numerous lawsuits pending against it.

I don’t know.  I just don’t know.

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We’re getting there…

Monday, May 12th, 2014

I’ve wanted to actually sit down and post for well over a month and a half, but the joy of homeownership when the place is constantly a wreck tends to take the priority.  So, since it’s been so long, I now don’t even know where to start.

If you follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook you’d know that we did actually close on the house and get the keys, it happened on March 14th instead of March 12th but it happened. Since then it’s been a mad-dash of “Get This”, “Fix This”, “Clean This”, followed by INSERT MORE COFFEE!!  The house was so freaking disgusting after we got here on closing day. It took me over a week of shampooing carpets before I was even remotely comfortable with moving in my stuff over here. The bathrooms were scrubbed a few times with A LOT of bleach, the garage was full of crap that the previous owners should have gotten rid of and it fucking cost us money to do it, money we didn’t have because they completely fucking screwed us during this entire god damn process.  After going through this house we’ve easily determined that these people were low-life scum who had absolutely no idea what broom was, let alone any advanced cleaning accessory such as a SPONGE. The layers of slime that were scrubbed off of the showers is still mind-blowing to me… to the point that I’m now scrubbing the shower down almost every day just to make sure there’s none of their residue making an appearance – my O.C.D. in this house is possibly 10 times worse than it’s ever been before.  I swear to god if they were ever dumb enough to step foot on this property I’d probably shove a few of the shot-gun shells found in our crawl space straight up their asses.

In the past month we’ve gotten the bare essentials taken care of on the house, the rest are all happening this summer. We’ve got a huge couch and a big comfy chair (for Sean) in the Den. We recently picked up a gorgeous 6-person cherry dining table to start building up the dining room, we bought a small kitchen table the first week so we had somewhere to eat, picked up some bar stools on clearance from Lowes that were a really good find. George and Sean have been busy with some of the maintenance around the house so that we can be in a livable environment, and the only major thing left to accomplish this upcoming summer is to get the roof patched up.  If we had a little more wiggle room with the bank account this summer we’d have a company come in to take down a few of the over-grown (and dying) trees in the back yard so we can start putting in posts for a fence.  Why? Cause the neighbor behind us has the most annoying dog in the world and I’d rather it no longer have the ability to see us whenever we pass by one of our windows, and I want a damn pool so a fence must come first!

Sean’s been really happy down in his basement office, I was able to spend some time getting my office painted and setup so the only thing at this point that’s missing is a new desk but I’m making due with the folding table for now, it’s holding the iMac up pretty well, as well as the side monitor so I think I’ll be OK for a little while. Of course I’m going to need to get my Windows desktop setup at some point for cross-browser testing but I’ll continue to utilize the free services for now.  I could really care less if IE6 supports something anyway, if you’re still using IE6 then you shouldn’t have a computer to begin with.

The one big draw-back for life recently is the fact that my cell-phone is pretty much useless. I dropped it on the day of closing and the back popped off, it’s currently being held together with electrical tape and the battery only holds a charge for about 30-60 minutes. I literally have to keep it on the charger unless I’m talking on it, in which case I have to make sure there’s a charger close by.  Now, the battery was shit before I broke the back off of the phone, it’s just gotten much worse over time so I’m going to assume that replacing it should help to solve a few of my problems.  Thankfully, even though the Droid-4 was made in a way that Verizon would have to change the battery for you, I was able to break the piece off that Verizon has the tool for and I don’t need to waste money by bringing anything to them.  So, I’m gonna spend $20 on Amazon for a replacement and hopefully be good to go. I’m not due for an upgrade, but with the cost of cellphones I’d rather salvage the one I have for as long as humanly possible.  There’s no point in my spending $200 to upgrade every two years when I can just pick up a $20 battery that should hopefully give me at least 12 months without any problems.

BUT – the one thing we’re doing to help with the problem is turning our Double Play with Comcast into a Triple Play. Sean didn’t really see the point in having a house phone in the beginning, but now that he’s seeing how many problems I’m having with my phone and seeing how often I need to be ON the phone because my entire family and all of my friends live in NY he’s realizing that the house phone will be an essential part of life here for me. So tonight while we were in Staples we found an AT&T phone system for like $100 that included like 5 phones which would pretty much cover every room in the house, Sean figured it would be cheaper on Amazon so we walked away from it, but I saw saw it for like $130 on Amazon so I guess I’ll be heading back to Staples… when will men learn to listen?

In any event, I have an inbox full of crap to take care of and eyelids that are not willing to cooperate, so it’s time to increase my caffeine and while that’s working through my system it’s time to walk the dog. If it weren’t for her snoring next to me, I honestly would have completely forgotten it’s time for her to head around the block.

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Surprise…. surprise…

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

We didn’t close yesterday, shocking I know. We were advised at the closing table that documentation was missing from one of the co-signers and then it turned into a mad dash to get everyone on the phone.  We had to make sure paperwork was notarized, and they wanted a copy faxed to them so we could attempt to close the same afternoon, however the faxes never went through so in the process of that not working the co-signer ran to the FedEx store to have the paperwork overnighted down.  They wanted the fax just to start the process, but they required the physical copy because of the seal.

So, co-signer paid the $30 to have it delivered before noon 3/13.  Due to the wind-storms that flew through the north east last night, the plane didn’t take off until after Midnight and was some-how re-routed from New York down to Memphis, TN.  The document (per the tracking info) was then DRIVEN to Baltimore, MD and has been sitting there ever since. We got in touch with a rep at FedEx and they noted that due to the winds it was delayed last night, and unfortunately due to the winds today it’s delayed until tomorrow.  The rep said that it would be there by Noon on 12/14, lets just hope that’s the case.

So everyone is still all over the place, thankfully the owner/realtor gave us until Monday to get this all finalized (per her addendum to the contract). They sellers already signed over what they could, at this point they’re just waiting on the check, and due to their scheduling conflicts this week they’ve also given power of attorney to the lawyer so that she can represent them for this signing when we actually can finalize everything.

Utility wise, everything is on in our names but they still hold the note on the house until the check is handed over to them. I’m hoping nothing happens at the house between now and signing, but we should be ok.  Sean and I are both at the end of our ropes, we’re sick of this entire process and just want it to end.  Hopefully we’ll have everything settled by tomorrow.  I just want the keys, I just want to get in there and clean the place up and start our lives.

It’s just way too damn frustrating to deal with anymore.

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We’re almost there!!

Tuesday, March 11th, 2014

It’s been a constant up and down, and I know I’ve bitched about it quite a bit but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  We’re closing on Wednesday 3/12 at 4pm.  I’m excited, but not to the point where I’m jumping up and down.  I’m so over this entire process that I just want my keys and the current owners to fuck off and then I can just work on making it OUR home.

We’re doing the final walk through today (3/11), it’s odd to do it the day before the closing, but we’re obligated to get another pest inspection (per banks request) and since we need to be there for that we’re just going to get that over with today.  They supposedly turned the electric back on, but we’re still not sure as to whether or not the water is on in the home. This is an area where I’m a little freaked out based on the fact that we’ve had such cold weather in a home with no heat that even with an enclosed basement there’s still the issue of having some type of a pipe blow up.  Even though I’m sure there’s some law telling us not to, if the water isn’t on in the home today I’m going to locate the main at the back of the house and turn it on.  They were morons for shutting everything down in the first place, if a pipe bursts it’s on them.

Our other focus is the attic, we know that there were a few leaks and it’s an area we need to address almost immediately, but since we had the house inspected more and more shingles have come off of the roof, leaving other areas exposed. We have every intent of redoing the roof, or just patching until we can afford the complete gut job that it really needs. I just want to make sure that more and more water hasn’t shown up to the point that there’s discoloration on the ceilings. Nipping it in the bud ASAP is our only option.

Everything else is minor cosmetic shit, and primarily stuff that would just need to be cleaned / painted. Thankfully, for the most part, the house is white so I don’t really have to worry about throwing paint on the walls right away. My focus is just getting all of the cleaning supplies together so I can get in there and do my thing. I probably won’t be thrilled about being a homeowner until everything is in and settled.  We have furniture to purchase, cleaning supplies to purchase, we’ve already got a good chunk of the kitchen necessities already purchased. I figured when I get over to the discount stores to start stocking up on cleaning supplies, I’ll pick up a few plates/cups/bowls to hold us over until I can get up to NY to pick up the rest of my belongings.  It’s just going to be a LONG drawn out process but by this time next month I’ll be able to sit down and really just take it all in.

We’ll be in the house long before then, but it’s going to be complete chaos until we can get everything put away and organized. Thankfully we’ve got so little to start with that it won’t take long to get everything to the spots it needs to go. I think the most complicated aspects of moving, for us, is based solely on electronics. Laptops, Desktops, iMacs, TV’s, Game Consoles…. which is primarily everything in Sean’s office.   I’m worried that my desk won’t survive the move, but that’s because the top isn’t really secured to the base. This could mean that moving it around would be easier since I’ll have the drawers out and the top off of it, but I hope it can be properly re-secured when we get it into the house. I don’t need the 27″ iMac falling through to the floor, that’s just too much damn money to have to shell out when it can go to more important places – like the roof.

Sean and I have done some shopping around, and have found some furniture that we’re interested in but it seems that wherever we go we wind up finding something for cheaper.  I found a couch in Furniture & More that I thought would be perfect for the Living Room, it was $499, I could get it with a queen sleeper for $699. Now, I know that seems really inexpensive for a couch but you have to remember with the huge den in the back of the house we don’t have the need for a sofa that’s going to get a lot of wear and tear. With that said, I was happy when I found a couch in Big Lots (of all places) for $360 that was both comfortable but in a color tone that I actually liked. I didn’t have to customize a damn thing and as long as I’ve got a uHaul I could just take it home.  I downright refuse to purchase any type of Sofa from a thrift shop, even though a good chunk of my furniture will be purchased from one. There are just certain things that you can wash and disinfect, and then there’s other things – like a couch – that just can’t fit into the washing machine to make it worth it for me.  BUT that’s the only thing I’m buying NEW so my being picky about it won’t ultimately kill our wallets in the end.

So yea… we’re FINALLY closing on this thing and there’s A LOT to do. I haven’t really been sleeping very well, but I think the stress is playing a part in that. I woke up around 5am, couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed until 7am and now 3 hours later I’m still going through emails and everything on my computer just to keep my brain functioning.  I’m gonna hop in the shower and head out to run some errands, we’re meeting with the pest control company around 4pm at the house so anything that I wanted to accomplish today will have to be done by 3:30. Good thing it’s not very much… I still wish I’d had enough drive to leave the house before 10am though.. I was oddly enough in the mood for breakfast from McDonalds today. Nutri-Grain just didn’t fill that void, but at least there’s something in my stomach to get me moving.

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What do you want now… my first born?

Monday, March 3rd, 2014

Sean and I have decided that once everything is finalized with this sale, we’ll never be purchasing another home. The process for buying a home is the most time consuming, stress inducing, bull shit situation I’ve ever been in. So many people, for the longest time, were just handed mortgages and then boom – economy crashed and there’s foreclosures everywhere. Now? The process is pretty much to the point where on top of the last 5 years of your financing, they’ll take your first born to seal the deal.

Originally we were going to close on Feb 28th, we were set to close on this date but then some random tax stuff came up for our co-signer, and it was then going to be delayed for another week. We were super happy to find out that we’d be closing on March 7th, then we come to find out that this random tax stuff would require information from the IRS that we’re having A LOT of trouble getting our hands on.  So, we went ahead and submitted an addendum to the sale contract and we’re basically sitting tight until the bank and the IRS can get everything worked out.

The issue? The owners are freaking morons. Their realtor was never given the green light that we’d be 100% closing on the 28th, so they decided that they would be smart to just up and move out the day before the original scheduled closing. For people who couldn’t afford to fix ANYTHING in the house, it surprised me that they actually had the money for a down payment on a new house. So while the house is actually in their sons name, they decided to just walk away. Now their realtor (their daughter-in-law) has gone as far as requesting that we move into the house before everything is finalized with the bank and pay them $1700 a month in rent plus utilities. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? Why the hell would we do something so stupid? Based on the issues we’re dealing with theirs no guarantee that we’ll EVER close on this house – so why would I tap into my down payment just to make sure that they can cover their own mortgage because her in-laws are dicks? Their financial problems are not my problems, or my fault.

For the past two months we’ve completely been at the mercy of the bank, who’s asked us to provide things to them that I feel are more of an invasion of privacy than something that’s pertains to the loan. Every deposit to the bank accounts, they want to know why it was made and a copy of the checks. They demanded all of the pages of the statements so they can see how our money is spent, and I’m sorry but the fact that I don’t feel like cooking on some nights shouldn’t be their business – how dare you question how often I purchase a pizza. They originally requested deposits, withdrawals aren’t their fucking business.

I’ve had to write a letter to the bank to inform them that Sean has access to his own bank account because it’s a joint account. I’ve had to write letters advising why W2’s are different than Taxes filed when they’re incapable of reading the “Other Assets” section of the tax returns (What the fuck is the point of even providing you WITH the tax returns if I’m just going to have to tell you to READ them!?) We’ve given them year to date income for the past two years, they’re demanding that we file our 2013 (even though by LAW I don’t have to do that until April and I haven’t received all of my 1099’s anyway so I’m going to wind up filing an extension).

We’ve had to dig out the paperwork for the lease for Sean’s mothers house, they’re also requesting he be removed from the lease prior to the sale, which is something that’s not gonna happen based on the fact that he’s her sole beneficiary and needs to be on the lease in order to take over the house in the future… so they can go screw off on that one. They also mentioned that divorce paperwork (for a divorce finalized in 1999) may be pertinent to the loan as well.  The level of prying is fucking absurd, I feel more violated by the bank than I ever could by a visit to a gynecologist.

So yea, this is a process I don’t ever want to go through again. It’s a constant up and down, and emotions are running hot because we’re past being anxious and are now downright impatient to just get this over with. When we were originally provided with our new closing date Sean and I went out and I stocked up on everything I could possibly need for my new kitchen. Pots & Pans, Cooking Utensils, Mixing Bows, Bakeware, Cutting Boards, Knives… everything you could need for a kitchen. The only thing we didn’t pick up were plates but that’s because the ‘patterns’ at Walmart are ugly as sin, and set that has service for 4 for $30 seemed extreme to me. I can easily pick up service for 8 from Dollar Tree, and that’s exactly what I’m going to end up doing.

The only upside is the fact that we’ve got a pretty massive storm coming through here over the next few days and since we weren’t moving in this weekend we weren’t going to have to deal with the snow to slow us down. I’m also kind of hoping that something happens at the house that forces them to actually fix it up. Since the contracts aren’t finalized, they’re still the owners so they’re responsible for anything that happens to it until we’ve been handed the keys. Is it wrong of me to kind of hope something happens? Of course. BUT that doesn’t mean Mother Nature feels the same way and when you factor sleet, heavy rain, and then about a foot of snow sitting on top of a roof that’s in need of repair… it may wind up saving me the $10,000+ that is required to replace the roof. If they aren’t willing to fix it to finalize the sale of the house… they’re stuck with a $1700 a month mortgage on a house that no one lives in.  Oh freaking well.

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Move quicker damn it!

Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

We’re still at the mercy of the bank.  We’ve had to add a second co-signer to the loan because the first one (while well qualified) pays rent so they then needed to re-crunch the numbers.  The issue now is the fact that they sent all of this to us on Monday 24th, which is the day when we’re supposed to be letting the current home owners know we’re “good to go” and they can work on getting their stuff out of the house so we can close on Friday. We, unfortunately, have not gotten the green light – all we got was an extra 60 pages of a contract that needed to be filled out and sent back ASAP – now we’re not going to know a damn thing until tomorrow afternoon.

It’s a 50/50 chance that we’ll be closing on Friday, but at this point I’m leaning more towards next week based on how royally we’ve been screwed this entire time. I, personally, could care less about how this is effecting the current home owners because they lied way too much for me TO CARE.  I got this sob story about how they’re going into assisted living, can’t afford their bills, yada yada. Meanwhile, they were just downsizing and moving to a different community.  Why lie? Why even concoct a story? You didn’t need to say a damn thing to us, you could have been honest and said that the house was just too big for you to handle. Why even come up with some bull shit to try to tug the heart strings? You’re not dealing with a native Delawarian.. you’re dealing with a New Yorker who couldn’t give two shits about you at the end of the day anyway!

So by tomorrow afternoon (fingers crossed) we’ll know our closing date. I’m still hoping it’s Friday just because I’m itching to get the hell in there and scrub the crap out of the place but who knows. Either way I have a stock of cleaning supplies already written down that I need to buy and bring over there. I just want start the cleaning process, have Comcast come in to wire the place and the rest is cake.

I haven’t even started packing, it’s not because I’ve been too lazy to get started it’s because the “Waiting Game” aspect of things has lead me to believe that this wasn’t actually going to happen for us. Is there a lot to pack? Sure. Is it something I could knock out in a few days? Yes. That’s the beauty part. When you own the home and you’re not leaving a “Rental” property – you’ve got a little time to get yourself in and settled. So by default the first task is to get the place cleaned up, while cleaning have anything installed by an outside company that needs to be installed (In our case it’s just Comcast).  Then we’ll be heading over to a few furniture places because the only pieces of furniture we currently own are a bed and two desks. Clearly in a 2900 sqft home we’re going to need a lot more.  So, first purchase will be a couch, and then I’m hitting up every Thrift Store I can find to get the rest of the house furnished. I will NEVER buy a ‘used’ sofa from anyone. You never know where the sofa really came from, and I don’t want the headache of scrubbing things down to the point I’m stripping the color off the fabric because it’s just not clean enough for me to have any piece of mind.  So the sofa will be brand new, where as anything wood based (dining room table/chairs, end tables, coffee table, dresser, nightstands, etc) will come from thrift shops and flea markets. Why? Cause I know I can easily scrub them down and I’ll probably wind up stripping the paint off and staining them anyway.

Do I have it all figured out? of course. Will things go any faster because I have them figured out? Of course not! Sean’s a complete impatient mess right now, but I know he just wants to get this whole process over and done with so we can focus on more important things. I typically will keep the frustration levels to myself, but that’s because I know when it comes to certain things I can handle stress better. I also know I can handle paperwork better, but when you’re exposed to that stuff it’s just something you get used to.

The only thing that I’m increasingly growing impatient about is the fact that Bella’s hair is way too long and she’s been panting like all holy hell because it’s always so damn warm in this house. I spend a lot of time in the bedroom with the window open and the overhead fan on but that doesn’t help her comfort levels. I want to know the exact monetary numbers we’re dealing with for the closing on this house so that I know if there’s an extra $100 in the budget for me to get her groomed just so that’s one less thing to stress about.

A big stress factor right now is work has really, really slowed down to the point that it’s scaring me. I’ve always got little things to do but there’s nothing to really solidly keep myself as busy as I’d prefer. The only benefit to this is it’s given me time to get a new template together for AGn Designs, to replace the “Temporary Site” that’s been sitting there for two years that I freaking hate. I still have like five or six pages to format though, so lord only knows when that will be completed.

Either way, my inbox is showing me that I have a few things to accomplish today so hopefully I’ll be able to get them knocked out and keep my mind off everything with the house.

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Happy New Year!!

Thursday, January 2nd, 2014

It’s that time again… Everyone has gone out of their way to make resolutions for themselves, and those with actual will-power may make it past day #2. I made it a point to not even kid myself and have no resolutions this upcoming year.  Why? It’s simple.  If you truly wanted to make a change in your life you would have done it already, holding off until the first of the year seems more like a cop-out than anything.  For the past 11 months you’ve wanted to either quit smoking, lose weight, learn a new language, pick up painting, whatever the case may be.  If you haven’t done it in the last year, there’s nothing driving you to get it done this year.

So for me, I told myself my resolution is to completely write-off having a resolution. Not sure if that’s a double negative, but either way the only changes I’m making this year is to hopefully be moved into a new home within the next 90 days. Do I consider it a resolution? No… we’ve been trying to buy a house since October but nothings worked out.

We’ve been under contract on three houses. The first house? The financing fell through so we needed to be released from the contract.  The community that we were looking to move to was black-listed by the lender and there was really nothing more that we could do.  The second? After inspection we found out that the Well was contaminated with Lead and Nitrates, because of this the grounds were more than likely contaminated as well. There were also structural issues, half of the house didn’t work, and the water heater was so rusted by the lead in the water that it was about to rot through the floor.

Now? We’re under contract on a house that we both agree is absolutely perfect and with a few modifications over time it holds the “Dream Home” status.  The bedrooms upstairs are all a decent size, the basement is already finished giving us two guest rooms and a man-cave for Sean’s liking. There’s a good sized kitchen, two car garage, gorgeous floor to ceiling brick work on the fire place, massive family room towards the back end of the house and a nice sized yard that will accommodate a pool and plenty of room for the dog to run around.  The problem? The inspection was scary. While structurally it’s sound, there are numerous plumbing issues from the do-it-yourself finished basement that were listed as “Major Defects”. Now, I’m all for the do-it-yourself type of thing but if you’re selling a house, make sure it’s at least up to code. The random little things that they missed were so stupid it’s mind blowing. For me? It’s one weekend fixing random things for maybe $1200 worth of materials. The fact that I now need to figure out how to get a licensed contractor into a house that I don’t own so this stuff CAN be fixed is where things start to get annoying.

We knew going into this house that a roof was going to be needed, house was built in the late 70’s to early 80’s. More than likely it was never replaced, and it now requires four patches for a recent leak. In theory it would be better to just redo the entire roof so it doesn’t need to be worried about for 10 years, but that’s wishful thinking.  The owners have absolutely no money and are in the process of selling just about everything they own so they can afford to move into assisted living. I feel terrible because they’re such nice people (we got to chat with them during the inspection), but we’re going to have to renegotiate the cost of the house because I know that at least $10,000 worth of work needs to go into it before it’s up to code… knowing that they don’t have that money means that they need to at least come down in price so we can work things out with the bank.

Our broker has already told us that the house doesn’t fit the profile of a FHA mortgage, but we could possibly do a 203k loan (which supposedly is a variation of FHA). With this, we can borrow the estimated amount of money at the same time of the mortgage. So if they come down the $10k, then we can borrow the extra $10k (putting us at our already agreed price on the house) and then fix everything that needs to be fixed. All of which needs to be done by a licensed/certified contractor. So that’s where things get tricky, it also extends our closing date. As of right now we’re supposed to close on Jan 25th 2013. This change would then send us into March. Which, I guess is OK because it starts to get warmer so working on the roof wouldn’t be that big of a deal but it’s still one of those “Will it ever end?” type of situations.

It’s upsetting, it’s frustrating, it’s completely bugging me but life still needs to go on so I need to draw my attention elsewhere.  Thankfully I’ve got quite a of work to do, I stopped for a little while because my show is starting in a few minutes. I don’t sit down for much of anything, not a big TV fan but hopelessly addicted to “Mob Wives” on VH1. Not overly thrilled about this season because the original cast members are my favorite.. BUT the changes they made with this season, seems that there’s going to be more knock-down-drag-out type of fights and that makes me happy. Real or fake, I don’t care. It’s just nice to listen to a NY accent when you’re living in a very… rural… area LOL.

As far as life-changing events are concerned. Sean and I are officially engaged!! 🙂 It’s been 7 years of bouncing between two states and numerous ups and downs but he proposed on Christmas Eve at the tree in town. He was super excited to get me out of the house that night, I had a feeling but it wasn’t confirmed until he dropped down when we got towards the tree. He was super cute about it, of course I said yes. He lit up when I did, and it was very sweet. I can’t wait to start the next chapter, and really hope that everything can work out with the house so that we can get through all of the muck and start planning for a wedding and children. I don’t see myself having a huge wedding, not really the “Look at me!” kind of person, I’m perfectly content with a justice of the peace… but when you’ve got a huge traditional Italian family… things just get complicated heh.

So who knows what this year is going to bring… but I’m not setting any resolutions. I’ll just live one day at a time and take it from there.

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I really should be working…

Monday, March 11th, 2013

I’m not really sure why, but I’m having a lot of trouble concentrating today.  I’ve actually been having trouble concentrating for almost a week now. The last thing I want to do is open up Photoshop and actually get some work done.  I think it’s based on the fact that I’m just stuck in a rut that I can’t seem to wiggle my way out of.  I always want to find something completely different and unimportant.  All of the laundry is done, the kitchens clean, I’ve cooked dinner every night and even did some shopping with Karen this past weekend. As far as actually sitting down in Adobe and physically getting some work done – my brain just can’t seem to grasp it.

Even now I’m holding off on things and I have like six sites to work on and haven’t started a single one.  All I can do is think about how I need to put tonights dinner away and get myself set to watch the Monday night shows on CBS. Since those are on in 8 minutes I have the feeling they’re going to take the priority yet again.  I’m not really sure what’s wrong with me, but I can tell you that it’s completely unlike me and really not going to work in my favor.  There are numerous bills to pay, emails to answer and sites to start and my brain is just all “Nope, bedtime right?”.  Coffee doesn’t even work anymore and I’m up to over a pot a day just to hold me over and it’s still not working.

To top off everything else, I’m still looking to build a new template for here because this one is officially driving me crazy. I’m tempted to just change it over to a basic default one just so I can get by. I also know that won’t work for long because I can’t stand anything ‘Default’ that comes with a script, no matter how much customization is available its still not enough to keep me happy. I wind up spending more time on changing the temporary template than I do designing a new one.

I’m sure I’ll figure something out at some point, for now I’m going to sidetrack myself with TV until I can finally hunker down and get something done.

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Let the chaos begin…

Saturday, December 1st, 2012

I’m not someone who’s easily overwhelmed by ANYTHING. The past hour, however, has set my head into such a spin that I feel like I’m dealing with some type of internal tornado.

I’ve been working for a design firm in Manhattan for quite some time now, Sean actually was the one to get me the job with one of the company owners to work on one of their websites and from there was bounced to the other owner who’s the #1 on the Web department. It’s been steady on-going work, primarily in WordPress and after the last year and a half I’m utilizing areas of WordPress that I didn’t even think existed in this world. The way things are morphed and hacked (without physically touching the core files) blows my fricken mind. I don’t think I’ve done one site that didn’t require heavily modified template files to cater to custom posts and custom fields. The repeater field on Advanced Custom Fields just about made my head explode when I was finally able to figure out the ins and outs of it.

All that aside, obviously I’ve been able to keep myself busy with a lot of things to do, the thing that’s kicking my ass right now is the fact that there’s 4 sites that basically need to be done by Wednesday (just for this company) and I have no idea how to wrap my head around the amount of work that needs to be accomplished. I’m not against working a 16-20 hour day in order to get everything done, don’t get me wrong, but the issue now is the fact that I’m needing to figure out how to do this while still sitting in the cancer center on Monday and Tuesday for Karen’s chemo. She did OK for the first cycle (3 weeks ago), she had the typical side effects of nausea, headaches, vomiting but it subsided after a few days and she’s been pretty comfortable since. The woman is eating her weight in food on a daily basis and her newest addiction is potatoes and corn because she’s carbo-loading like a best thanks to the Steroids. Her recent discussion with her doctor, and the fact that she had a very strange reaction with the first cycle (almost immediately) now has her on the path to receiving a different type of Chemo that needs to be administered over the course of two days instead of the one. So on Monday morning and Tuesday morning someone needs to accompany her to the cancer center so she’s got someone with her for the 5 or so hours it takes to get her treatment. Now, if things were a little slower it wouldn’t be an issue at all but having such tight deadlines for four massive sites… I don’t know how I’m going to be able to accomplish it all.

I just really hope that the cancer center doesn’t have restrictions on their WiFi. I don’t mind switching back over to my laptop to get in a few hours of work while I’m there, but the last time I tried to work in a hospital I was quickly shut down because they don’t allow uploading on their network, and it’s not exactly possible to connect to FTP when that’s the case. Sean and I had a shit-ton of bad luck when we were at Johns Hopkins (main hospital for 5 days back in July) because of the restrictions, and we didn’t actually have a hotel room to go back to until 2 1/2 days after we got up to Baltimore so we lost a lot of time on our punch cards in order to deal with everything going on there. We didn’t try it while Karen was in Hopkins (Bayview – for two weeks in September) because we bounced back and forth from the hospital to the hotel multiple times a day and were able to utilize the wifi at the hotel to get everything accomplished.

Now, the Tunnel Center (where she’s getting her Chemo) is local (literally four blocks away) but this doesn’t mean that I’ll have any kind of luck connecting to a network that allows some type of uploading based solely on the fact that there’s lord knows how many offices in this building and they’re all competing with the download time for BeeBee medicals internal file-sharing system that stretches amongst their entire network, including the imaging center right next door.

I guess I’ll just need to figure out everything when it happens, I can only hope that they’re super dumb (compared to Hopkins) and don’t have that kind of restriction because everyone in Delaware is a hell of a lot more trusting than they are in Baltimore.

My goal for tonight is to finish the edits on Site #1, so I can then get a few hours of sleep (hopefully at least 4) and then wake up to complete the remainder of Site #1 being as all of the PSD’s haven’t been moved into WordPress yet. My day tomorrow is completely booked worked wise, but at the same time I still have A LOT of cooking to do. I’m starting the crockpot around 11am, throwing in the meatballs/sausage around 1pm so they can cook for 6 or so hours to be done for dinner. I still have chicken to make before it goes bad, and quite a bit of baking to do because I was very unhappy with the bakery in the supermarket tonight. So with everything else going on I still have to make Fudge, White Chocolate Chip and Regular Chocolate Chip cookies, PLUS a Banana Nut Bread because, as I said, Karen is carbo-loading but I still need to figure out how to sneak some kind of fruits/veggies into her that aren’t just potatoes cause that’s way too much starch.

I just hope that the eggs I bought two weeks ago didn’t go bad already, and I really hope that we have butter in the house because I was stupid and didn’t check that when Sean and I went grocery shopping tonight. Crap I just remembered I need oil. I guess while I’m waking up with my first cup of coffee I’ll be dodging through the supermarket to pick up everything just to get back here in time to start the rest of my day.

Lord help me, even Music won’t calm this nerve down.

Time to get back to work so I can go to sleep.

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Can’t concentrate for shit…

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

Even though I’ve already put in 5 hours (on ONE damn site) today, I still feel like I haven’t accomplished ANYTHING.  I still have an urge to put in another 3 hours but it’s after 2:30am and all I want to do is go to sleep.  I’m not sure why I’m having trouble concentrating, I just keep getting this feeling like I need to be doing something else.  Typically “pay the bills” is on the back of my mind.  Today, however, it’s been “I feel the urge to Google random shit, just ’cause”.  It’s not even anything good.  Hell, someone posted on Facebook about how they have a random itch (down there) and can’t figure out what it is.  I, for some reason, spent a half hour researching it while over a PM with her.   What the hell is wrong with me?  Her oonie should be none of my concern, but she posted it on FB and it was a distraction for me so I veered off course.

I know that up to this point I’ve accomplished everything I’ve set out to do today.  I got another 10 or so pages completed on the eCommerce backend, the kitchen’s clean and the chicken was taken out of the freezer to thaw for tomorrows dinner.  I watched my Monday night shows, and spent some quality time with a very fidgety dog who’s terrified from the one crack of thunder we experienced with the random storm that passed through Delmarva this evening.  There’s really nothing left to do, my To-Do list is empty.  So why do I feel like I haven’t completed a damn thing?

On the home front things are OK. Karen’s having some post-surgery issues that we’re working on fixing.  It’s my hope that we can fix everything with over-the-counter based products before it turns into a trip to a specialist, but we’ll see where things stand on Wednesday morning and go from there.  I don’t want to venture over to Maryland but for the sake of her health we’ve got no choice. I don’t trust a single damn doctor in Delaware and if I need to cross state lines to get in with someone who actually knows what they’re doing… so be it.

I decided, this past weekend, that Comcast/Xfinity is the absolute worst company in the world (and I’m an Optimum/Cablevision hater too).  With the move to my new “office”, Sean went out and picked up a cable box from Comcast that was supposed to have been activated within an hour of getting off the phone with tech support.  Of course after four phone calls and constantly being told “wait another hour” (over the course of three days), I decided to take out my frustration on Twitter with a #comcastsucks hashtag, PLUS tagging with @comcast to prove my point.  I get a message from a Comcast employee offering to assist me and within 10 minutes of providing him with my account # and the serial number on the box in question – everything was fixed.  I still don’t understand how it was possible for him to fix something in a matter of minutes via Twitter when FOUR phone calls did absolutely nothing!  There was only ONE phone call that showed any level of being “productive” and that’s when they somehow conned Sean into signing up for a triple-play when we have absolutely no need or use for a home phone. We’re not getting any kind of an upgrade with channels, we’re only getting Encore for six months free.  Who the hell watches Encore? At least offer Showtime so I can watch Shameless in January for crying out loud!  It did wind up costing us like $25 less than we were set to pay, but the point is we didn’t call to alter the plan – we called for the damn box to work so I’m not sitting here in silence when I’m not in the mood for music.

I have found that my concentration level goes up with a TV in the background, mainly because I find TV to be so boring that I’d rather be in Dreamweaver.  That’s not even working for me though.  I’m extremely sound sensitive and wanting to just fly far far away and get away from it all.  I’m halfway tempted to head down to the beach since the storm is now off shore and I’m sure the surf on the Atlantic’s gone up quite a bit.

In any event… gonna try to knock out another hour and go to bed.  My major goals for tomorrow are to get some clothes folded, put in at least 6 hours and hopefully remember to watch “Extreme Cheapskates” on TLC because the show just looks that interesting.  Not to mention the fact that after NCIS (the original, fuck LA) there’s really nothing on TV accept the news.j

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I miss my dog and want to go home…

Monday, October 17th, 2011

Sean and I have been in Delaware for the past month. Every time we’ve tried to go home, some major account pops up that requires our complete attention. Due to this, there’s been no possible way for us to hop in the car and drive five hours north to get back to Long Island.

Initially it was the account for Dover Speedway, from there it’s trickled down to numerous small accounts popping up at once that all require some ridiculously short turn around time. To top that off there are still modifications to do on sites that were completed a few weeks ago so that we can launch them for the client.  Whatever the case has been, we’ve just been too damn busy.  I’ve been told (hopefully as a joke) that if I choose to stay down here any longer my dog will be shipped via FedEx so that I can then stay for as long as I absolutely want, as long as they don’t have to deal with her anymore.

Right now I’m trying to complete FOUR accounts at once.  The task would be much easier to manage if there weren’t so many other factors involved. The environment isn’t an issue at all, I actually find myself more focused down here. The issue I’m dealing with right now… EMAIL… each of the clients is kicking over a multitude of emails to follow for changes/tweaks, and to top that there’s a few new clients coming out of the wood work.  Whatever made me think that Sean and I couldn’t afford to purchase a house down here has gone completely out the window.  Now it’s just the matter of actually getting HOME so that we can continue to work and pay our bills and then eventually go for that oh-so-hefty mortgage to get the house that we’ve both decided upon.

I know they say to never put your eggs in one basket, but this is a home that’s been on the market for almost a year, it’s in beautiful condition and has absolutely everything we want, including a very, very large in-ground pool in a fully fenced in back yard. It’s my ultimate goal to have the keys to this house in my hands before summer of next year so I can literally take three straight days off work and just float in the pool. Meaning, I have no intent of getting OUT of the pool for three days. Who needs air conditioning when you have a float and a nice breeze?

The house itself is $250k, as it’s been on the market for so long I’m offering $175, the negotiations can begin from there.  There’s 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a Florida room, large kitchen, dining room, media room, living room, AND an in-law suite.  What do two people need all of this space for?  Simple really.  The master bedroom will contain absolutely NO computer equipment EVER.  Two of the four bedrooms will be offices. Mine will be fully customized with the same color tones as on this template (White, Black, Grey and pops of Pink). Sean’s will have the more masculine feel.  The other two rooms (in the main house) will be designated guest rooms as I’m sure we’ll have frequent visitors via either friends or family.  The in-law suit contains a small kitchen, large room and its own bathroom. We’ll use this as the ‘guest house’ for the guests staying for more than a few days so they have a bit of privacy.

Regardless, I’ve decorated everything in my head and don’t plan on giving up.  We have looked in NY, the property taxes are absolutely ridiculous so there’s no reason to even continue our search there. Yes, all of my friends and family are up there, but affordability wise – DE is the place to be.

Either way we’re going to continue to work and get our finances in order, the issue really is getting back to NY. We have every intent of leaving tomorrow morning and then working tomorrow night to get caught up. I really wanted to do some laundry and clean up before we leave here but I honestly don’t see the laundry aspect of things happening. I could have spent the last five minutes getting that in the washing machine instead of blogging, but considering I’m still three hours behind on my email – getting up from my computer just wasn’t happening.

I’ve got my fingers crossed in hopes to actually go home tomorrow.  Being in DE isn’t bad, I’m not unhappy in any way, and I absolutely love Karen (Sean’s mom), it’s got nothing to do with her. I just know that we don’t actually live in DE anymore and everything we own (including a more stable internet connection) is back in NY.  I whole heartedly believe that if we brought Bella down with us for this visit – we’d never go back to NY. Regardless, I miss my dog, I miss my friends and I really hope that things slow down long enough for us to pack up and hop in the car.

Meh… forget the emails – I’m doing laundry. :hmph:

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