A lot of interesting things go on in this town. So much so that I seriously wish I had some kind of a Spy Camera just so I could get this all on tape and make millions of dollars selling the footage to America’s Dumbest Citizens and Pets.
#1 – Just tonight a neighbors dogs managed to get themselves out of the house and oddly enough, no one was looking for them. We’ve met them both before so part of me assumes that they remember our scent. Sean happened to be walking Bella up the block when this huge dog approached him with no real concerns at all. They sniffed each other out (Bella and the other dog, not Sean heh) and then her being the bitch she is, kind of smacked him in the face. Of course this isn’t fair because this dog happens to be rather sweet. We were knocking on the door, trying to get the dogs rounded up. All the lights were on, dogs are running wild, I finally hear “We’re not home”. Originally I thought this was Sean until I later found out (after both dogs were let into the back door by Sean) that someone was actually home. If your lights are on, I can see someone moving around, how are you “not home”? ::blinks::
#2 – The other night we were at the beach, this cross-links to my previous “Are you that stupid?” post a few days ago. Some stupid teens decided “Let’s jump on the dune” and it was followed by a year-round police officer (not the ones they call in seasonally) walking up and screaming “Are you that stupid?”. They did a quick comb on the beach and came back to seeing two rather dumb children running onto the beach. I kid you not his dialouge went as follows “I think he’s taking a piss on the sand. Is he taking a piss on the sand? He’s taking a damn piss on the damn sand.” He jumped on his bike (not forgetting his helmet by the way) and peddled over there as fast as his tight-assed bike shorts could take him. He then repeated (to a completely new group of idiots) the wonderful term – say it with me folks – ARE YOU THAT STUPID?
#3 – Another neighbor, husband of the famous “Hot Mom” that Sean more than likely has a crush on (well…her butt mainly) does some strange things at night that I just don’t understand. When he believes everyone to be asleep he’ll come outside for his nighly hit of weed. He’ll then follow it with excessive coughing that could more than likely wake up the whole neighborhood…we all know that the old people get out of bed a lot slower than the young ones – it’s frustrating that they aren’t as chipper as they used to be when they come to the door with a shot-gun screaming “Shut the hell up – will ya? We’re trying to sleep!”. That’s not exactly his ‘strange’ trait though. I’m certain he has a night job but for some reason he comes back to the house about four times a night between Midnight and 6am. Every single time I see the man, however, he doesn’t really feel the need to keep his shirt on. He’s driving a brand new car so obviously there’s air conditioning in it. The windows are typically wide open (even at night) and he loves to show off his farmer arms and pasty white chest.
While I’m not exactly in the South dealing with “Southern Drawl” I am dealing with a lot of people who’s fathers are also legally they’re uncles.
And last but certainly not least:
#4 – A few weeks ago Karen was telling me about someone she works with. Skunks are pretty typical down here, naturally when you’re cutting into their territory to clear land for the 200 homes being put on 5 acres – they’re going to hang around. One night he noticed a rancid stench coming out of the back yard. His kids had just come in from playing and it was getting fairly dark so he was making his final rounds of the evening before closing-up-shop as he put it. He peaks into the backyard where this skunk stench is getting worse. He finds the skunk in the back yard playing with all of the dog toys that the children had left out when they went inside. So now not only do they reak to holy heaven but they have dog like qualities.
Unreal…unfreaking real.
