For the past few weeks, things have really been up and down. I know the move is taking a lot out of me (emotionally) but I also know that before anything was official, I was here for almost four months to at least attempt to work the kinks out.
Today was a pretty bad day, and I honestly don’t know what I can do to help fix it. I fell asleep around 5:30 this morning, I was up by noon and that’s pretty typical for me considering I work from home so I can make my own hours. Baby didn’t wake up until after 3:30. I don’t know if he’s not feeling good, or what, but he was just in a bad mood today. Asking him to do something that would have taken him not even five minutes of time turned into an hour long argument about how he doesn’t have time for shit because he has to work. Fine…whatever.
I go into his office about 10:30 tonight and told him that high tide is around 2AM and I’d like to go. I figured this would give him PLENTY of time to get some work done and then on his next break we can go watch the waves and come home so he could finish whatever he had on his to-do list for the day. He, yet again, went on a rant about how he needed to get shit done. Not even a half hour later, he’s asleep. He’s been asleep since 11, it’s now 2am.
He’s complaining that he’s exhausted, sick of doing everything – blah blah blah. All I can really say is grow the fuck up and quit bitching about it. He’s depressed, but won’t admit to it. He doesn’t like going out during the day so that’s why he’s either sleeping or in his office. While I’m not too keen of the sun either, I at least make the effort. Sure, I don’t get much further than the garden sometimes but at least I’m breathing in some kind of fresh air, something he isn’t. His idea of fresh air is opening the window. Meanwhile, today being as hot as it was, his complaint was that it was too warm in the office for him to concentrate. Hrm…here’s an idea – shut your computer down for more than a quick reboot and MAYBE it wouldn’t be so hot in there. The heat builds up overnight to a room that’s constantly closed off. He’ll sit in there all day while all this heat is soaked into the walls and he just won’t make the connection. “It uses less energy to run the computer than it does to boot it” okay, to some degree that may possibly be true, but when it’s running 24/7 it’s obviously going to use quite a bit of power considering it’s connected to two CRT monitors (not even LCD – CRT, those give off their own heat).
The office is trashed, that also adds to the frustration because you can’t find anything and since everything is so stacked up in there it’s going to seem like the room is smaller – which then makes you feel like you’re in a box. The bedroom is trashed but that’s because there’s only one vent in the room and the chair that Bella loves to sit on is under the window. The vent is under the window so the chair had to be moved in order to even get air in there. The sheets are all off the bed because of how hot it got last night. The whole living situation is just agitating to the both of us to some degree, and I still don’t understand why.
He could care less about the rooms being clean, that’s my department. I’m anal retentive about things. I like to sleep in a clean room and I’d prefer (more than anything in the world) to be working in a clean office. He asks why I don’t sit in the office and all I can say is “I’m uncomfortable” because while the chair is extremely uncomfortable, so is being in the room itself. There’s a lot of dust, he slams on the keys when he types and I really can’t stand hearing his music blaring out of his ears. He then wonders why he has trouble hearing sometimes, and it just amuses me. Hmm…maybe because you’re destroying your ear drums?
He just can’t handle someone asking him a question or showing him something because it’s going to eventually fuck up his entire day. I don’t know, at this point, I can scream at him until I’m blue in the face but that won’t get anywhere. I don’t typically like airing laundry out like this but if I didn’t write everything down somewhere I was going to pop. I’m going to surf through some other sites, maybe if I keep my mind of shit I’ll be able to sleep tonight without wanting to kick him in the face. He’s already on the floor anyway…wouldn’t be much of a hard target. :ugh:
