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Not a good day….

Monday, April 27th, 2009

I haven’t even really started my Monday but I know for a fact that it’s just not going to be a good day in general. Last week while I was organizing things I found Joe’s mass card. To my surprise I was completely thrown off by what I was reading. For a long time I was convinced that his birthday was the end of May. Leave it to me to screw up the dates….

I found out that his birthday actually fell on April 27th. The reason I’m in a funk right now is because Lucy also has the same birthday.

Joe – April 27, 1981 -> March 7, 2006
Lu – April 27, 1985 -> February 17th, 2009

There’s too many 7’s involved, and things are just too damn close together for me to be even remotely comfortable about it, it’s one of those freaky things that just kind of hit you very hard when you make the discovery that you certainly were NOT expecting. I was just happy that I was finally able to find Joe’s mass card so I could put it on my mirror, the way I’d had it before it was boxed away and shipped down to DE with me. I was just taken back when I actually put two and two together.

So, I already know for a fact that it’s going to be just a really bad day for me. I’ve put those whom I actually give a crap about on warning to just not bother me today…with anything. To those whom don’t already know…they can deal with my being a bitch and I couldn’t give a shit about their feelings.

Technorati: Life, Death, Birthdays, Freaky Coincidences

Tags:Death, Life, LordJoeChi, Lucy Ann
Posted in Daily, Soul Mate | 8 Comments »

The Goals…continued

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

So there was a bit of a bump in the road last night that I certainly wasn’t expecting. The ideas that I had for organization and shelving were a bust because of the size of the space located directly next to my desk. The shelves we have on that side now are hanging over on the top of the hutch on the desk so it’s really not a wise choice to add more shelving below because that would require cutting compressed wood and that’s just never pretty. So, instead we’re figuring out what to do with all of the other sections.

Our first step – the closet! Sean is going through all of his clothes and seeing what he can throw out and what can be compressed down into a vacuum bag. He really doesn’t wear all of the clothes he has and if he does it’s typically something he’ll wear seasonally (ie – the jackets) so he’s working on his side and I’ll go in and begin working on my side as well.

Instead of getting rid of the dresser I’m just going to better organize the one we have. It would be great if I could find a taller one with just one more drawer in it but since that’s not going to happen there’s really nothing I can do about it (IKEA & Walmart were also a bust for shelving/cases). I want to figure out a way to get the bucket-o-pajamas into another section of the room. I’m thinking of a box under the bed or compressing the seasonal ones (you don’t need heavy fleece pants in the summer). So that will cover that section.

Our desk is horrible. It’s poorly organized and I was lucky enough to find some small low-profile bins to put on the shelves so that will instantly clean things up and that’s always a great thing for me.

So yea, it’s really not a matter of cleaning things up it’s just a matter of organizing things better. The ultimate goal is to get all of our stuff out of the tub but I imagine with a new bed that’s higher off the ground I’ll just be able to fit the bins underneath and that will clean up a lot of the clutter. So basically find a hidden hole and stick it in (but label it first) HA.

Technorati: Organization, Weekend Cleaning Spree

Tags:Cleaning, Organization, Spring
Posted in Daily | 1 Comment »

The Goals

Friday, April 17th, 2009

I haven’t really had the ability to sit down and work on anything for myself lately. This weekend is going to change all of that as some kind of a design bug has bitten me and I have the itch to get a lot accomplished.

My ultimate goal for the weekend is to get everything in the bedroom 100% organized. I intend to go to Home Depot and pick up the shelves that I need and I also intend to get myself over to Walmart to pick up the storage containers that I need as well. Why? Because over the course of the next week I’ll be purchasing a larger bed so we can get Sean off of the floor and the organization will just seal the deal so we’ll actually have room to move around. The closet will be organized, everything storage wise will be taken care of, a lot of junk will be thrown out and I’m even going to organize all the paperwork that is just kind of floating around the room. It’s been a difficult transition when it comes to moving two rooms into one and while we’re using the bathroom for a lot of over-sized storage, I would ultimately like to even break that down quite a bit. We can’t really use the shower anyway considering there are still no walls available but I’m sure it’ll al work itself out in the end once I get down to the nitty-gritty and take care of it all.

I’m hoping it only takes me the full day on Saturday. If I can put in 9 hours at a job during the week a straight 9 hours of work in my room would certainly get the job done. This gives me a whole window of opportunity when it comes to sitting down with my laptop on Sunday (in a nicely organized room) and finally doing something with my personal sites. I need to put acidgloss.net back up because I’m losing advertising money. I need to get a new template up on this site because I absolutely hate using free ones and for some reason my previous pink/white template just doesn’t want to work anymore. So instead of using the one I designed over a year ago, I fully intend to start fresh and see what I can come up with that’s simple and colorful.

I’ll just cross my fingers that everything goes the way I’ve planned it this weekend.

Technorati: Organization Time, Cleaning House, Furniture, Shelving, Mrs. Fix It

Tags:Cleaning, Organization, Weekends
Posted in Randomage | 3 Comments »

Working on it…

Monday, April 13th, 2009

I have to say that with the series of events that took place this past weekend, I’m finding it pretty hard to get myself moving today. It’s Monday morning, I know I need to get myself ready for work and I’m just in a “blah” kind of a mood.

On Friday I came home from work with the overwhelming feeling of annoyance towards just about everyone and everything. I attempted to sit down and just relax in bed but when the small bedroom that Sean and I are sharing looks as though a bomb exploded it just escalated into my blowing off steam directly to him. It then, and I don’t know how or why, turned into me having a complete and total emotional breakdown. I did finally have the break down I’ve been anticipating for quite some time now. For the first time in almost two months since Lucy passed away everything hit me and I couldn’t hold back any longer. It was one of those cries that if you looked at me you would have probably felt bad but for me it was just a release of emotions that needed to be released.

I truly do miss Lucy, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and it’s been really hard for me to create a new routine that doesn’t include her because she literally was a huge part of my DAILY life. It’s not like we had that kind of friendship where we only saw each other once in a while, she was at my house all the time, we always talked and she truly was a member of the family. She’s the only one left from years ago that still called me “mom”. It’s like I lost a child, which is probably why I’m taking it so hard. So yea, I broke down, and whether she was there listening or not I made it a point to get out everything that I needed to say. The gist of it was “I miss this, it sucks that this can’t happen, this was the plan for this” the list is never ending. I just know that when I go outside to have a cigarette, I’ve purposely left my phone inside because up until her death I was typically texting her and saying “get your ass over here”. Now I know that I have to do it on my own.

I talk to her all the time, again not knowing if she’s listening or not – it’s more of a comfort thing for me right now… I want to believe that she pops in and out to check up on me or help me through something. It’s just hard to help someone through YOUR death – you know? So yea, that was Friday night.

I woke up on Saturday and found that my tax return was pending deposit on my bank account. This came very soon after Sean went to pick up his new glasses (nerdy tape city man!) and his taxes from paid blogging also went out on Friday, so it was nice to see that the money that went out on Friday was now tripled and put back. I made a killing on my taxes this year, and I’m very happy about that. I was eligible for the stimulus check for last year. Why? I honestly don’t know, but I’m not complaining. I still haven’t received the state but I assume that’s coming in on the 17th as was originally noted. They never told me when the federal was going to show up but Federal tends to work a little quicker when it comes to things like that.

Yesterday, Sean and I got ourselves all dolled up and went over to Alicia’s for Easter. Her mother went overboard on all of the food (again) but that’s what Italian’s do! Everything tasted great, but my stomach absolutely hated me for whatever it was that I ate. I had the ziti and the meat, some ham, and I wanted to go back to the adult table to load up on more food but I was just too full After we ate, Alicia and I headed outside for a quick cig and that’s when my stomach started bothering me. It progressively got worse but didn’t stop me from the cherry cheesecake and a cookie. As far as stomach aches go….I’m thinking it was the Pizzagaine (Italian meat/cheese pie) that set me over the edge. I only really have that once a year, but even still I shouldn’t have felt nauseous for hours after the fact! I wound up having to leave and lay down at home, making Sean drive me even though he’d had a few drinks. I’d rather he drive on two beers that didn’t effect him at all than my being dizzy and unable to see straight.

So I came home, washed all of the make-up off and changed into my pjs. I quickly threw everything off the bed, put a bucket down next to me and then just crashed for the night. Now all of the nausea is gone but the stomach pain is still there, a feeling I absolutely hate, it feels like really high cramps that are hitting me right at the base of my ribs. I just hope the pain doesn’t get worse during the day or I’m going to have to wind up coming home to lay down. :crosses fingers:

On a “tech” note. I do have a template that I just haven’t been able to sit down and complete the coding on. It’s time for a change, I never wanted to use a premade template but I was honestly sick of the previous one. Hopefully I’ll get around to completing it soon. It’s already coded, per say, there’s just the wordpress tweaks that need to go into it, that’s all.

In any event, it’s a little bit after 8am and it’s time for me to get dressed and get through the rest of my morning routine. Later gators!

Technorati: Easter, Friends, Family, Lucy Ann, Emotional Breakdowns

Tags:Depression, Family, Friends, Holidays, Lucy Ann
Posted in Family, Friends, Soul Mate | 5 Comments »

NO! I’M NOT OK!

Monday, March 30th, 2009

I know that I’ve noted in previous entries that it was my goal to post more often. Unfortunately the series of events that have happened over the past month have given me the lack of a drive to do so. So while I appreciate an email every now and again asking how things are going, my honest response really is that I’M NOT DOING OK! Anytime someone asked me something in the past I noted that I was fine…and even though I have never been fine….that’s just not the truth anymore.

I’m still taking Lucy’s death very, very hard. It’s a lot different than Joe’s passing, but hurtful just the same. With Joe, I knew he was going to die I just never believed it for my own selfishness. He was sick for a very long time and it was only a matter of time before it caught up with him.

With Lucy, however, she wasn’t sick at all. She was a very healthy person, she ate like a fat girl and was stuck in a skinny body but health wise, a random cold like any normal adult would be the only thing to get to her. So being as she was in such a horrible car accident, the shock of waking up every morning without her being around is really beginning to take its toll on me. I haven’t yet had my break down, I’ve been very weepy and depressed, but no breakdown in sight. Typically they happen at the worst possible time and I honestly thought that the drive out to Deer Park was going to be worse for my weepyness but that ended in a few minutes, mainly once we got off of the 107-S. I cried for a few minutes, a song triggered an old memory of when things were so much easier. Unfortunately that’s just about all it did…it just triggered memories that I’ve been constantly replaying in my head but have been unable to show any strong emotions with it. So yea, that’s where I stand with that. It’s painful, and I just can’t seem to cry enough to the point that I just feel guilty. I don’t know if my emotions have completely been shut off or what, but you’d think that with EVERYTHING going on right now I’d be able to be more than a zombie.

To add insult to injury – The growth on Bella’s stomach has been removed. The biopsy results confirm that it was cancer, and now I need to bring her to a specialist to continue treatment. I’m already putting in 40+ hours a week at work, and this just means that I’m going to have to step up on my design work so I can bring in some more money for the months ahead. It really sucks that when things just start to get well and Sean and I get ahead on bills that some major thing just blows up in our faces. He and I have also been having some trouble lately, but we know what’s wrong and we know what needed to be taken out of the situation and now we’re working on it. I’m still completely and whole-heartedly pissed about it but everyone knows where they stand now.

So essentially, my reason for not having a complete emotional breakdown is due to the fact that I haven’t yet been able to deal with any single thing lately, there’s multiple things on my plate right now and I don’t really know which one to start with. There’s a lot of changes at work, there’s changes in my love life, there’s changes in my family, and there are people missing who deserve to be here. I still don’t understand why useless fat assholes are walking the earth refusing to do a damn thing with their lives and the “gods” take someone that was on a set path for greatness. It confuses the shit out of me and just makes me bitter towards humanity in general. Everyone wants something for nothing, no one wants to get off their asses and put in an honest days work because there’s always the “easy route”, but people like Lucy who were working and going to school to succeed in life – are just taken away from it.

Pat and I have spoken a bit over the course of the last month and he blew me away the first night at Lucy’s tree (it’s really done up, if you’re on 107-N going into Glen Cove you’ll know EXACTLY where it is), and he went on to tell me how even though he hasn’t physically been around for a while because of his bands schedule and what-not, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t working really hard to give Lucy the life and friendship she deserved. He wanted her there when the band hits it big because she’s entitled to have friends that take her all over the place and where she gets the perks of celebrity, and everything else they’re working on. And it really is true…she deserved so much better than she ever go. All I could do is love and care for her, which is what friends do. The perks of our friendship was she ate very well and if there was more than a 10 minute period of her not laughing and smiling when she was with me, that just means I had to push that much harder.

She deserved the ultimate happiness in life, not to die. It’s as simple as that.

Technorati: Life, Death, Family, Friends, Bella, Cancer

Tags:Depression, Family, Friends, Life, Lucy Ann, Work
Posted in Annoyed, Bella, Boyfriend, Family, Friends | 5 Comments »

Protected: ~Private~

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

Posted in Randomage | Comments Closed

Employee of The Month 01/2009

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Employee of The Month It’s not the greatest of pictures, but I snapped it quick with my phone before I left work yesterday. My supervisor presented me with my plaque on Wednesday. She’d announced it previously but with being sick and then the whole shit storm that is my life kind of threw up on the table last week, nothing really happened with it. But since it showed up at the office (obviously it was ordered) and there’s quite a few extra people in the office this week (mainly appraisers buying franchises and a boss flew in from Cali for the meetings) I was asked to just display it on my desk. I’m totally bringing it home tomorrow night to show everyone. I personally didn’t feel as though I deserved it when I was told that I was getting it but now that I’m thinking about it, I’m proud of myself for being able to fight through the headaches and annoyances known as our office…heh. So it’s been on my desk with all of my other bits and bobbles. I’ve got it next to the heart shaped Bamboo that Sean got me for Valentines Day. Everyone in the office is like in love with it, so I’m glad I can give people something funky to look at during the day.

Today was OK. I had a little bit of weapyness on the way to work because I’m having a lot of trouble dealing with the fact that Lu isn’t around anymore. My right-hand on numerous occasions and always eager to just come and hang out with me and just relax outside to shoot the breeze. It’s just so strange to wake up one day and know that there’s a huge part of your life that isn’t there anymore. I know I’ve mentioned her in every update, but I believe that’s heavily based on the fact that I’m still in shock about things. I haven’t officially had a melt-down yet and I’m just not sure of when it’s going to hit me…all I can do is hope that it happens when I’m at home thinking about her and not while I’m at work trying to keep myself composed for a ‘professional’ environment. I’m actually surprised at the fact that I’ve been able to stay at this job for as long as I have. I have a lot of trouble focusing on things but I guess I’m just one of those people that needs to be in an office environment because working from home never quite felt right for me. Sure the money was better, but it got pretty damn boring, and my wrists always freaking hurt all day long from typing on AIM all day.

In any event, it’s getting pretty close to 10PM so I think it’s time to get ready for bed.

Technorati: Work, Family

Tags:Family, Lucy Ann, Work
Posted in Family, Work | 5 Comments »

Holding On…

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

I went back to work yesterday. Last week was just one messed up thing after another, and it had actually started for me on Sunday night. I don’t know what kind of a bug was roaming around town but just about everyone for the past week has been pretty sick. I woke up about 2am Monday morning after not feeling too well after dinner Sunday night (last time I saw Lu was dinner). I wound up throwing up all night long and for most of Monday, I had a pretty high fever so needless to say going to work wasn’t an option for me. Tuesday I stayed home so my fever could break and I could begin to get moving again. Wednesday I woke up ready to go to work, took a much needed hot shower but felt a little off as though I was missing something (I later found out it was Lu). So I left work early on Wednesday, and wasn’t back at all until yesterday (Monday).

Fran told me that it was pretty busy last week but I was not expecting what I saw yesterday. We were so bombarded with assignments that my inbox literally didn’t stop from when I walked in the door at 9:45 and even after I walked out the door at 7:45 (I’m only scheduled 10-7).

I remember at one point in the day I’d actually gotten away from the desk to take my hour lunch and there were about 2 assignments that I’d just printed and left on the printer due to the fact that Trish was just too busy working on something for our boss that assigning to an appraiser just wasn’t happening. I then came back from Lunch and I know there were about 20 assigments on the printer in total (including the two I’d printed before I left) but the other departments were over loaded so I didn’t think anything by it. I look at my inbox and over the course of the hour about 120 assignments came through. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many emails before in this place and it was certainly overwhelming when you think about how many reams of paper it took to print out everything. On top of that it all requires being stapled and assigned to an appraiser with all (if any) of the corrections. It’s was definitely a daunting task

As I noted, Franny and I didn’t get to leave until about 7:45 last night. I was home around 8:10 with the quick cig before I got in the car and the drive home. I’m hoping that we don’t need to go through it again Today because it’s National Pancake Day at IHOP and we were planning on treating ourselves to some tasty goodness.

I’m really shaken up about an accident on Friday night that I heard about. On my way home from my mothers there was a nasty accident on Sea Cliff Avenue. I didn’t personally see it, I just know that my mother called me in a panic because she heard on her radio that there was an accident with a car on fire. I later found out that it was two kids that I’d know years ago. They were zipping up the street going faster than they should have been, bounced off of a parked car and flew in the air to the transformer. The car then landed and the transformer landed on them. One kid was killed instantly, the other was screaming bloody murder while the car was ablaze. On top of that, another kid I went to school with drank a little too much after Lucy’s wake and wound up waking up in the E.R. with no recollection of how he got there. He got into an accident on the L.I.E.

I honestly think all EMT’s in a 10 mile radius of Glen Cove are pretty shaken up by this past weeks events. I know that I certainly am.

I’m trying hard to get through the day but when you work right down the street from where your best friend worked as a D.A. for the bus company – seeing all of the buses all day long is no longer the comfort it was before. Her bus, 161, passed me as I was walking down to the court yard up the street from work. It was a cold day but I needed to clear my head and that certainly didn’t help me at all.

It’s just hard to hold yourself together with constant reminders of someone who was so important to your life.

Technorati: Worst Week Ever, Viruses & Bugs, Death, High School, Memories, Friends

Tags:Death, Family, Friends, Memories, Sick
Posted in Randomage | 4 Comments »

Rest in Peace Lu.

Friday, February 20th, 2009

On Wednesday I received a call at work from Sean where I was told to sit down and then told that Lucy was in a bad car accident on Tuesday night on her way home from school. I’ve known Lucy since 11th grade in high school. Her, Pat and I were three peas in a pod and then we lost touch for a while after I’d graduated. For the past few years it was an AIM conversation here and there being as I was in Delaware, but when I came back up in June things were just different.

She was here every day, she turned into a member of the family to the point that I guess you could say that this was just another home that welcomed her with open arms. She was my best friend, she got me through a lot of shit in my life and she was always there when I needed someone the most.

Now I’m completely lost. Words can not even begin to describe what’s going on in my head and how empty I feel with out her here. I keep seeing her out of the corner of my eye. And as soon as I look over it fades like a lifetime movie.

She was here on Sunday. She had dinner with Sean and I, hung out on the couch for a little while…we had a cig outside and she left to go home to study because while she was off from work for winter recess, she still had school at night. She never missed a day, she was a straight A student and she was leaving school from an exam. The only thing different about her is that she was talking about how tired she’s been for the last couple of days. She wasn’t getting much sleep lately and I believe (as numerous others do) that she fell asleep at the wheel.

My step fathers EMS/Fire department was the closest to this call (he’s the chief). They showed up on scene and there were so many people working on her. They brought her back a few times, they had her in the E.R. ready to transport to the O.R. and then they just lost her. She hit directly on the drivers side and suffered head trauma and internal injuries. Her sister said that her hand felt as though she had no bones. She was just lifeless and fighting it until she couldn’t fight it anymore.

This one is hitting me harder than Joe. I knew he wasn’t going to be around forever and he was sick for a long time before he passed away. Lucy was perfectly healthy, she was just tired and wound up hitting a tree so she was just ripped from a world that loved her.

My world will never be the same. When someone so small can make such a huge impact and then be ripped from your life all you can do is go through every text book emotion of grief. Sadness, Anger and then excessive laughter due to all of the wonderful memories, and everything else.

Her wake is today, funeral is tomorrow, and I’m completely spent. Pat and I found the tree on Wednesday night, he visited it multiple times yesterday. I can’t even bring myself to pick up the keys to go back for myself. I can’t pick myself up to even go and talk to her father and the last thing in the world that I want to see is that casket.

She was my muse, my best friend, my pet midget, my little sister and one of the few left that still called me “Mom”. She took great care of me and I did everything I could to make sure that she was always taken care of.

I always looked forward to weekends because I knew she was going to be here and we’d always find something extremely productive to keep ourselves amused. I no longer have that.

My sister is shaken up because, again, Lucy was a member of our family. She’s been holding it back though. Sean has had a few break downs as well.

This is one of the lowest points in my life, and I honestly don’t even know how I’m going to bounce back from it. I have to continue going on with my life and continue to deal with all of the people who truly deserve to be in her place.

She was a kind person, never hurt anyone a day in her life. She was always there when you needed her. She never once could keep you from smiling and she always had a way of letting you know that she’d support any choice you make as long as it made you happy.

I’m going to miss her terribly.

Technorati: Rest in Peace, Car Accidents, Best Friends

Tags:Cars, Family, Friends, Lucy Ann
Posted in Randomage | Comments Closed

Employee of The Month

Sunday, February 15th, 2009

On Friday my supervisor announced to me that I have been chosen as Employee of the month for January. I was a bit shocked by it, to be honest. I honestly don’t feel as though I deserve it considering I’m still in the training process but I’ve been thinking about it lately and I have to say that I finally do believe that I actually do deserve it.

For the past month I’ve been coming in early to cover absences for other employees. I don’t usually leave until well after I’m supposed to because there’s numerous files to status and make follow-up calls on and I’ve worked on a few different claims in the past month that have caused nothing but problems thanks to incomplete information and I’ve managed to actually get in touch with owners who typically wouldn’t answer their phone in order to get the information we need.

On top of my actual job of handling all of the emails that come in to the company (I’m the master email account for claims, statuses, assignment updates, cancellations – etc.) I’m in the process of learning how to assign claims to appraisers, what key terms to look for (photos only, heavy equipment, invalid phone numbers, etc.). I also send all of the digital files to the appraisers for certain insurance companies, that’s probably the most time consuming thing considering there’s typically 2 files for every one assignment (hard copy & digital copy) and each digital one not only needs to be emailed to an appraiser, it also needs to be downloaded and added to the server individually from the website. So naturally the work load is a bit overwhelming to me right now, but taking it day by day I’m picking up on things a lot quicker than I thought I was going to and I’m very happy with the turn out.

The upside would be that I get a plaque for my desk so I can have it as a constant reminder that I did actually work my ass off and have been since I started the position. The only downside to being employee of the month is they no longer put a $200 bonus in your paycheck. You’re just given a free day off where you’re punched in in the morning and then punched out at night. I just need to give a little bit of notice before I decide which day I’d like to take off. I would like to take a three day weekend and maybe head down to Atlantic City since I haven’t been there in over a year and I’d really like to get away. Unfortunately I also need to deal with the NY DMV considering my liscence needs to be changed so I don’t get screwed on my taxes next year. So it’s a toss up on which one I’d like to do first. I’m actually thinking of just taking care of the DMV stuff on my way out of town and then heading down to AC right after. The only problem is I won’t have any photo identification on me because NY sends your liscence in the mail, they don’t print out right then and there the way DE does. So yea, that’s the downside.

Technorati: Work, Employee of The Month, Insurance Companies, Atlantic City

Tags:Atlantic City, Perks, Work
Posted in Randomage, Work | 4 Comments »

Close to losing it…

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

I’m to a point in my life where nothing really matters. I’m sick of how my life is going but I’m in the “Just Do It” state of mind because there are more important factors involved. I hate my job but I do it because I have bills to pay and a dog to take care of. I hate my living situation but I deal with it because I know that at some point in time it’s going to improve and I’ll be able to afford to just finally be out on my own and not have to worry about anything but making sure I can clear the Rent that month.

I don’t like the fact that just about everyone I know is off doing their own thing so I never get to see them anymore and I hate that there are people in my past that my mind can not stop thinking about even though I let go of them a few years ago. Ever since I moved back up here I’ve felt as though my past is catching up to me and I just can’t seem to drop it. It’s as though any unfinished business from 10+ years ago is on the verge of busting out unless I do something about it.

I had a dear friend in high school that one day just kind of walked away – for no real reason. And based on how close we were it’s always confused me as to how the Jock Strap way of life was more important than someone who truly cared about you and visa-versa. I never quite understood it, and it’s really beginning to bug me because there are so many markers in my life that trigger thoughts of this person and I just can not seem to get them out of my head.

I work with a guy who I went to school with and the two of them were friends. He recently saw him and brought my name up and this guy was like “Oh yea, I haven’t seen her in years I should get in touch with her!” The thing that bothers me about him saying that is the fact that he was so quick to walk away and now he’s interested in reconnecting. Maybe I’m just looking into things too deeply but it bothers me to no end and I really don’t understand why. How could you completely disregard someone’s existance even though you saw them every single day and then 6 years later feel as though it would be a fantastic idea to just pick up where things were left? Would you not expect there to be a lot of questions involved in that? Mainly – “What could I have possibly done in the first place?” Either way I’m going to make every effort in the world to avoid the situation. It just baffles me to no end.

Considering I’m working a 10 hour shift tomarrow I think it’s time to head to bed. I need to finish catching up on some text messages first. I’m way behind on those – heh. Thank god for a QWERTY keyboard and unlimited in network messaging haha.

Side Note – I received an email tonight that was really kind of strange. But just to be a brat I’m going to answer it here. FYI – Sean and I are still together, we live together, I just don’t update my website often enough to talk about him and he’s too busy working for 4 different people to really have the time to throw his personal life online as well. So instead of coming to the conclusion that we broke up please ask before you make assumptions. Kthnx.

Technorati: Life, Rants, Raves, People

Tags:Life, Randomage
Posted in Randomage | 1 Comment »

Idiots

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

For some god forsaken reason I tend to attract absolutely stupid people and working in the field that I do, two an hour is an understatement. During the day I deal with numerous different insurance companies and for the most part they aren’t that bad but there are occasions when I’ll have to call an Adjuster and knowing their names and past experiences I know it’s not going to be an easy phone call. We have this one company where the adjusters have no idea how to use their systems and always send us the wrong information, or just incomplete information in general. They never tell you if the assignment is for the insured or the claimant and typically the location of the vehicle (what we assign by) is completely different than what’s actually listed on the paperwork. Why? Because they don’t care to follow up with the owner that’s now OUR job!

The assignments I hate the most are when you need to get in touch with the Attorney because the owner is incapable of telling you where the vehicle is. So for the last 7 days I’ve been trying to get in touch with this lady and she hasn’t returned one phone call and even her secretary is dumbfounded by the fact that I haven’t gotten the information I needed considering this guy is PAYING the lawyer for a damn reason! So since it’s hit the 7 day mark in our system with absolutely no activity I’m happy to be able to close out the assignment today. It’s just an endless parade of pains in the asses.

Ugh!

Technorati: Work, Insurance, Idiots

Tags:Idiots, Work
Posted in Annoyed | 4 Comments »

Busy Bee

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

I’ve been pretty busy for the past few days. I came home on Friday night and managed to get all of my laundry done with time to spare so I could just sit back and relax for a little while. Yesterday was pretty productive for me too.

Valentines Day Candy I like to do little things for just about every holiday and since I haven’t made any candy in a while I figured Valentines Day was the absolute perfect excuse for it. So I melted down some chocolate and filled molds and put everything into cute little baggies and I have about 4 pounds of candy to keep on my desk at work for anyone who wants it. I’ve also got a few just for home too, mainly the white vanilla ones because they didn’t set up properly for some god forsaken reason. Either way they look really cute!

Stained Glass Butterfly Then I started working on some of my arts and crafts projects. I’ve been putting them off for a while but that’s only because I didn’t really have the time to do them. I picked up a stained glass kit from AC Moore and it’s got a really pretty butterfly on it that comes with a stand and everything so I have something visually appealing to look at all day that isn’t fake flowers from the dollar store. It’s my way of dressing up a very drab office. I’m still waiting for it to dry so I can draw in the detail work but for now it’s looking pretty good so-far. It’s still tacky which is why the wings are so dark. They’ll lighten up within the next few days, and there’s also not enough light in the kitchen right now – even though the sun is shining bright outside it’s just on the other side of the building heh.

My goal for today is to head down to staples to pick up a few things, put gas in the car, pick up a cute chinese food container from Walgreens to put the candy in and then it’s time for the grocery shopping. I’m waiting on Sean to get some of his goals accomplished for the day so we can work on getting out of here. I hate going to the supermarket on a Sunday but I was so busy yesterday with the art project and the candy that there was no way that I was going to be able to get out there in time. Now it’s time to battle little old ladies who stand in the middle of the isle and just about everyone in the meat section since it’s 50°F right now and all the snow is melting! It’s definetly a BBQ evening and I just hope there’s some chop meat left!

Technorati: Art Projects, Valentines Day Candy, Daily Life, Weather

Tags:Art, Daily Life
Posted in Daily | Comments Closed

Still Kicking

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

I know I haven’t been around in a while, but knowing how the internet works I’m sure no one really gives a shit anyway. Work is taking it’s toll on me so I don’t even have the time to check my email anymore. I’m home early enough with nothing to do so I can finally sit down and at least update to let you (those who do actually care) know that I’m alive, I’m just too damn busy.

I have no drive for just about anything anymore, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing ’cause I’m out of the house all day and making some pretty decent money. I’m enrolling in school with the next pay check so I really won’t be around to do much of anything when that happens. I’m finally getting my Bachelors so I can find a job that pays a bit more in a field that I used to, at one point, enjoy very much.

I’m permanently living in New York, Sean and I are working hard at getting our own place so we’re no longer a burden on anyone, even though we pay our own way around here and for others as well. Hopefully with a degree under my belt and all of the work that Sean’s been doing lately we’ll be able to get something nice and cozy just for us and Bella (of course).

On the animal front – Bella’s been doing OK but she’s got this horrible growth on her stomach that’s cause for concern. It’s gotten much larger as we’ve been up here and right now it looks as though there’s a ball (a little larger than a golf ball) stuck under her skin on her stomach and it’s just kind of hanging there. I’m pulling money together so I can have it removed. It’s uncomfortable for her, and everyone can see that. She isn’t as active as she once was and her appetite has gone out the window. She can’t sit or lay down properly because it gets in the way so it’s certainly time to get rid of it completely. I originally wanted to get it taken care of a few months ago but bills are very tight and it’s just not something that I can afford since the VET isn’t willing to work out any kind of payment arrangements.

Dad’s doing well, no sign of cancer thanks to his treatments. My mother, on the other hand, it’s been pretty much up and down for her for the past few months. She’s been pretty weak, and it’s been hard for her to get around so my sister’s over there a lot helping her out. I would be if I wasn’t always at the office.

I don’t think I ever mentioned anything about this job since I started there – it’s been about five months since my start date. I love the environment, can’t stand a few people, and have bumped heads a few times but that’s my personality. I’m working with two absolutely wonderful ladies and I’ve spent a lot of time with one of them outside of work because she’s one of the coolest people in the world.

In any event, my 10 minutes online has certainly stretched a bit further than I would have liked it to. I would like to update more often but I don’t have the ability to do it at work during any downtime and by the time I get home at night the only thing I’m looking to do is keep my head on a pillow until the following morning. I have been able to check my email more often though so anyone still floating around feel free to drop a line (krissyville @ gmail.com) let me know your new web addresses too – I haven’t kept my list updated in quite some time. You can even comment with it, I have them all on moderate anyway.

Tags:Life, Love, Pets, Randomage, Work
Posted in Bella, Family, Randomage, Work | 5 Comments »