To be or Not to be….Offended?
So as a new mommy, I admit that I do not have many other mommy friends with children the same age. Most have children 3yrs and up or no children at all. I know that this will all change once my son starts going to some sort of school, but in the meantime, we take what we can get. When my son was first born, I was happy to re-kindle a friendship from past with a new mommy to a little boy only 2 months older than mine. Niether of us were working so we would have playdates almost every day. Once my friend got a job, we really didn’t get to see each other. The phone calls and texts became fewer and longer inbetween, then stopped all together. Not in a bad way, just in a I’m busy kinda way. I never thought that we had become non-friends. So when it was approaching her sons first birthday, I received a random group text about the hosting a party (a tupperware type thing) to help raise funds to throw the party about a month before. Then as usual, I never heard anything else.
Last week it dawned on me that I had not heard anything else, and decided to check her facebook….I was shocked to see that she was posting about getting ready for the partty, and that the invites had gone out, yada yada yada. I simply could not resist, I texted her in a fashion that seemed as if I didn’t see this information: “Someone’s big 1st birthday is coming up! It went so fast, can’t believe we haven’t seen each other, we must have a playdate soon!” her reply: “I thought you hated me or something! Im having a bday bbq on sat u should come! Im so glad 2 hear from u!!!” It seemed she had this feeling, but I did, and don’t, know why? At the same time I was completely offended that she hadn’t picked up a phone, or sent my son an invite. I happen to be one of those people that over analysis a situation, for two reasons. One is that I really do want to be a kind person and see the best in all, and second I want to make sure that I was not going crazy and really did not do something wrong to cause this situation.
Fast forward to the morning of the party. I start my over analysis, and question if I should really go to the party. If I don’t go, I would simply text her on Monday to explain that I was offended, and didn’t really feel comfortable attending since we didn’t receive a real invite. Then I cross examined myself and thought, since she extended the invite, even if it was by text, that it would be rude not to make an appearance. I went back and forth with myself for about an hour n half before finally deciding I was being silly and to just go. Offended or not, it was proper etiquette to attend. And figured if it was wierd; we had made our appereance and we could just leave.
When we turned onto her block it was chuck full of cars, I found a spot a block away and headed towards the house. The front yard was covered in a bouncy house, thru to the backyard covered in a huge tent with a dozen tables and chairs, a professional sized grill, five large coolers filled with beer, wine, water, juice boxes, and other adult cocktail mixes. On another table, they served penne al a vodka, sausage n peppers, pulled pork, potato salad, cole slaw, pasta salad, corn on the cobb, hambergers and hot dogs. The tent was decorated with tons of balloons, and there were people EVERYWHERE! This was no ordinary 1st bday, this was for the adults….(in kicked my reasoning for being offended! This was a big affair, and obviously invites had to have been sent, I was offended again!) I immediately called my husband and told him, “get in the shower, you are coming to this party! Im the only one by myself with a baby” I usually don’t make my husband attend such events cause he gets board and annoyed. I wound up having the best time, enjoyed the food, music, and other guests. I didn’t feel wierd at all, and it turned out to be such a fun day for my whole family. So offended or not, I chalk it up to a good time that would never had been if I had kept that negativity of being offended run thru my viens.
Curious though, would you have been offended?
